Discordian house blessing

May 20, 2012

I’ve been working on memorizing my lines for The Scottish Play. Thankfully, almost all of them were written in verse. Thank you, Bill. It’s like memorizing music. But I do find that I’m occasionally interspersing lines from a Discordian house blessing which I picked up in the early ’90s. I think it’s the iambs. I have no way to credit it, except to say it’s copyrighted 9987 O.L.W. May it please Eris.

Eris Bless This House

This house be safe from tygers wild,*
Here only tame things domiciled:
No bogle, troll, or grinch allowed,
Nor motley mob nor creeping crowd.
Bless everything within these walls,
No matter if it sits or crawls.**
Let mild weather be inside,
For those who ‘neath this rooftree bide;
And too, if not enlightenment —
Then pizza,*** love, and merriment…
And if these lines seem slightly odd,
Be glad at least they mostly rhyme.

* Lions, leopards, and armadillos not covered
** Certain crawling things require additional coverage
*** Extra cheese, unlimited toppings on Tuesdays