Discordian house blessing

May 20, 2012

I’ve been working on memorizing my lines for The Scottish Play. Thankfully, almost all of them were written in verse. Thank you, Bill. It’s like memorizing music. But I do find that I’m occasionally interspersing lines from a Discordian house blessing which I picked up in the early ’90s. I think it’s the iambs. I have no way to credit it, except to say it’s copyrighted 9987 O.L.W. May it please Eris.

Eris Bless This House

This house be safe from tygers wild,*
Here only tame things domiciled:
No bogle, troll, or grinch allowed,
Nor motley mob nor creeping crowd.
Bless everything within these walls,
No matter if it sits or crawls.**
Let mild weather be inside,
For those who ‘neath this rooftree bide;
And too, if not enlightenment —
Then pizza,*** love, and merriment…
And if these lines seem slightly odd,
Be glad at least they mostly rhyme.

* Lions, leopards, and armadillos not covered
** Certain crawling things require additional coverage
*** Extra cheese, unlimited toppings on Tuesdays

Is Mitt Romney a unicorn??

May 20, 2012

Just got off of Facebook, where I learned of a hilarious campaign by LeftAction to urge Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett to investigate whether Mitt Romney is a unicorn. This in response to his surreal claim that he must see President Obama’s birth certificate before he can put him on the ballot because he’s received over 1,200 emails asking him to do so. LeftAction has collected over 3,300 signatures for their email campaign so far and seeks 25,000. Hie thee over there and add your call for fairness in treatment! (I’m still cracking up as I type this.)